Missing You

It has been six long years today since you left. Silently, in sleep. No warning. No prethought. After years of after-thoughts, if only's, what ifs, and "if I had...", it has taken me almost this long to realize and understand that no matter how many scenarios I replay in my mind, the outcome would have been the same.

Your girls are growing into beautiful young women. I do the absolute best I can. Albeit, I know I have done a wonderful job thus far. We are going through, middle school, new friends, boyfriends, band, soccer, and next year, High School.

You would be proud of them. Straight A's for both. Jr. Beta, Jr. Civitan, and other school clubs. They are well liked by their peers and their teachers. They are very good students and get along well with others. They strive for perfection, almost too much. They get that from the both of us.

They are finally handling your death a little better. I believe they have found a sense of peace. We know we will see you again at some time. We feel your love everyday and know you are around us. You are missed just as much today as the day you passed. I love you dearly and miss our talks and time spent together. I would be lying if I said it has gotten easier. Time does heal, but it does not take away the pain completely.

I am undergoing chemo again. Each treatment, I remember you and all the things you would do for me. Sit by my bedside, get my blankets, take off the blankets, get the pail and hold my hair back when I was sick. With family still hours away, most times I am only accompanied by the nurse on treatment days. My mother doesn't have much time anymore to make the appointments with me. I have become very independent, but sometimes, I long for someone to take care of me, as you did.

On this day, we send our love and hope you continue to watch over our lives and smile.

All our love,
Your wife and daughters