We Remember Caylee Marie Anthony

We Remember Caylee Marie Anthony
Last Photo of Caylee: 6.15.08

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Two-Timin' Thursday with Rachel Ray

Okay, I couldn't let this one get away. Two posts in one day...almost as good as Happy Hour at Sonic...heh

Have you heard about Rachel Ray being pulled from the online ad for Dunkin' Donuts?

I posted earlier about how I was soo excited about how my "quaint" little town was getting a Dunkin' Donuts and how I would be able to spoil myself with such caffeinated bliss. I could give a shit about the donuts. I don't do carbs, but give me caffeine anyday. Now that the girls are out of school, it will have to be a special treat, maybe only twice a day because I will have to scrape the bottom of my Coach to pay for their Munchkin bender.

Someone is hatin' on my Rach. And it is all over a SCARF. Rachel says it was picked out by her stylist, and was not given a second thought. (Rach-I know you have a Hermes, Chanel, or hell, because you are so cool and like one of the girls, you probably have a scarf from Target) Plus, you don't even like Dunkin' Donuts coffee, remember??

Here's the lowdown:

A report by MSNBC.com says a Dunkin' Donuts television ad featuring talk show host Rachael Ray was recently pulled after Fox News commentator, Michelle Malkin, associated it with terrorism. (WTF?!) According to Malkin's syndicated column, Ray is wearing a scarf that resembles a kiffiyeh. Malkin said the garment was "popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos," according to the MSNBC.com report.

January 16, 2008:
So a friend of mine was on set last week as Rachael Ray filmed her latest Dunkin' Donuts commercial. According to her, Rachael stormed onto the set and snapped at everyone.....I am also told she took one sip of her Dunkin' Donuts coffee, yelled “What is this shit? Get me MY coffee,” and would not continue until she was given “her” coffee — i.e., Starbucks.

The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant (and not so ignorant) fashion designers, celebrities and left-wing icons," Malkin, who declared herself a fan of the Dunkin' Donuts, wrote in her nationally syndicated column. Although reluctant at first and denying any intentional similarity between the black and white wrap and a keffieh, the coffee and donut retailer eventually caved in
after the right-wing firestorm continued on the internet and by yesterday they had yanked
the ad."In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial," Dunkin' executives explained in a statement. Further on, Malkin promptly
responded to the company's statement, praising their sensitivity "to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists."

Somehow, I do not think this is going to hurt Rachel. I will still watch her, envy her self-taught culinary skills, adore her cute self and do so drinking my Dunkin' Donuts coffee, because it is closer to me now than Starbucks.

As a footnote, this being another reason, of many, as to why I do not watch Fox News. I fear Malkin more than Rach, truth be told.


Love ya, Rach!


From Terrible Two's to Terrible Teen's

"I forgot". This seems to be the new phrase as of late around my house.

Did you finish reading your book? "I forgot."

Did you unload the dishwasher? "I forgot."

Did you bring your dirty laundry down to the laundry room? "I forgot."

Did you feed the dog, the cat, the other dog? "I forgot."

Okay, you get the picture. Teenagers' brains are on one speed. "ME". The world revolves around them. They are just checked in their room at Hotel Spoiled (insert your last name) for the next 5 to 7 years of their life.

After receiving a wake up call every morning, they are served breakfast of their choice. Then, the bus-mom, clears the table and the dishes while teen is getting dressed for school in her own bathroom, filled with all the hair products, flat irons, crimping irons, curling irons, (no clothes iron) and Bonnie Bell lip gloss and OPI nail polish than any 13 year old should need. I think my teen is a rep for Bare Escentuals. She made a great pitch on the fact that it would be good for her skin since it is all natural, she wouldn't look "made up", and it contains spf. She also told me that she thought I would benefit from it as well. Umm, didn't you hear, make-up now has cancer curing properties..... heh. that was sarcastic, so you know.

I have to admit, it is great, but this isn't an ad for it. Unless, Bare Escentuals, you would like to overflow a cancer-ridden, and I'm not exaggerating when I say ridden, mother of two's make-up bag full of your product... *wink* It really does help with my hollow eyes and dark circles. The concealer works wonders on the radiation "+'s"! I would also love, love, love me one of the new "HEROE's" collections! anybody hear me over there at i.d. bare escentuals? Get it.. Heroe's...I'm a cancer survivor..hopefully twice!....awwww you're not listening....... and I don't like to beg.


After said teen has slipped into her freshly pressed clothes and bounces downstairs, I have packed two lunches, put my tween's hair up in the usual ponytail and straightened her "side bangs". (Why am I still a hairdresser to an 11 year old?) I have washed the sink full of dishes from breakfast, ran the dishwasher, it was too full to hold the breakfast dishes..someone "forgot" to run it the night before-remember, and started a load of laundry. I also had a cup of coffee, if not two, while watching Matt Lauer and the headlines of the day.

Then the chauffeur, um, that's me, drives them both to school.

I feel as if I need to wear some Lycra catsuit with a cape and thigh high boots.

I envision the color red and black boots. But I will settle for another couple of cups of coffee or a sugar free Red Bull instead. Same power and energy and I don't have to wear the suit. Thank Gawd!!

When I walk back in the house from dropping the girls off, I get a whiff of my SC1's Juicy Couture, yes, a splurge on her instead of me...and I realize, this is my life. I look around at all the smiling photos and you would not know the entire story reflected back in the smiles. I have done my job. I am at peace.

The death of my husband, cancer once and cancer twice, and I would not trade it for another life.

So on I go, after a breathing treatment, a self injection, pop a tamoxifen, and finish cleaning Hotel Le Spoiled, make a batch of cookies for "after school talk" and know that I am spoiled.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Pictures from my week:

This rainbow was outside my front door the afternoon
of my radiation. The picture doesn't do it justice. I tried
to make it panoramic, but it was so big, plus, it was a
double rainbow. (hard to see the one above this one)



I am in awe of my peony bush this year. The blooms are awesome.
So large and gorgeous. Pink and white.



The girls made arrangements for me
after my oncologist appointment.

Pears and Peonies

Monday, May 26, 2008

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day, Everyone!

I am in a bittersweet kind of mood. Not only do I get to honor all the past men and women in my family, and all of those soliders that are fighting for me and my family and your family that have fought for the freedom of our country I also get to remember those that are fighting right now :::::saving for another post later:::::

I am so ready for Summer! Ever since I was a girl, my Dad oened our pool on Memorial Day Weekend. We had a huge cookout, my friends came over and we froze our bejeddus off in the pool, and it was, officially, Summer.

I love that blogger has instituted the scheduled posting. I love it. I can type little memory stories like these while I am away having fun and reliving my days and my millions of readers can still keep up to date with me or at least what I am thinking about, a tip, or whatever happens to pop out of my head.

I want to create special memories for my daughters this year. Something to carry on every year from now on. And if for some reason, God has different plans, all the holidays this year will be full of memories of holidays past plus more just to give. Okay...enough of that.....

We will be returning from my parents' house and we will have our own cook out on Monday. I have some fun projects in store for the girls, then. Some ideas you could do, as well, would be to get some red white and blue balloons, (or any color) and blow them up and tape around your patio.

Make a banner to hang up. Let the kids type it out on the computer,print it off and put their artwork on it and hang it up.

If you are having family or friends over, the kids can make invitations to the party to hand out to the guests when they arrive, as a keep sake. If you don't have any of the confetti that you place in birthday cards, you can shred a couple of pages of different colored paper, cut into small squares, and place a small handful inside the card which is tucked inside he envelope.

The kids could cut some flowers out of your garden (that you agree to be cut, heh) and put in a small vase such as a tall shot glass, (shooter) and then have the kids write the guests' name on a piece of stock card for table placement. If you are not having a sit down dinner, these could be given as 'guest gifts' , by tying the name card around the shooter by using a hole punch on the stock card and using a piece of ribbon or raffia and tieying around the shooter. You don't want to get too fancy for something informal such as this cookout. It should just be fellowship among friends and family. Not to mention, good times, good food and good memories.

Now if we can just get the pool ready.........LOL

Happy Memorial Day!


Sunday, May 25, 2008

Memorial Day Memories -- Food and Drink

While Memorial Day is a day full of parades, and memories of heroes gone by. If you are lucky enough to still have a grandfather or great-grandfather around to tell of War stories you have heard a million times, listen to them again. I wish I still had mine to tell me history like that. And someone to share that kind of history with my children. Although, I have to admit, when I was younger, I would have given my eye teeth to get out of listening to my Uncle Douglas' War Stories again and and again. He was my grandmother's brother. Usually, before he would leave, he would give me a John F. Kennedy half dollar. The SILVER kind. He knew he wasn't paying me to listen, because he saw that I truly enjoyed the history, unlike the other cousins, and he must have foreseen the coming day that those 50cent pieces would no longer be made and how much I treasure every one. Yes, I still have them all. But today, I would give every dollar I have to have him come back, if only for one day, just to tell the stories so that my children could hear them and realize what a real hero he was is.

Memorial Day Weekend is the official kick off for summertime. The official lighting of the grill, the pool initiation. Softball games and hot dogs and desserts we thought Mom magically pulled out of the refrigerator. When did she have time to do all of this? I hope my children share fond memories of the holidays like I do. I try to make the magic happen in all them. Some sort of a tradition to give them so that when they look back they can feel the magic of the day throughout their body.

This post has been scheduled so some of these things have already been done, so just follow along. I just love that new post scheduler!

For Memorial Day, we will raise our Flag on Saturday morning. I have a few traditional recipes to make. for our dinner on Sunday. I usually make Southern Banana Puddin', that is always a MUST for Memorial Day. The kids love it. They get to pick out the type of cake they want and I make that as well. I also make a fruit salad and some deviled eggs. These things are always better made a day ahead. Sunday morning, I will get out the bread mixer and start making bread around 5am, so I can make at least 3 loaves. I usually make sourdough and this goes well with spinach dip and, if I make it "darker", I'm loving it with hummus. The kids just love to eat it with honey butter. I also have several other secret dips that I make for the bread to be dipped in.

And you have to have a drink. The perfect Southern drink is Iced Tea. There are 1,101 variations, but I just love mine sweet and a little on the strong side. kinda like my men. LOL that sounded like a country song, couldn't resist. I just love all the flavorings you can buy now. I like to buy the peach and raspberry for the kids and the adults love them as well. They need to make a blackberry because I am loving me some of that Sonic Blackberry sweet tea. I hate it when it says "for a limited time only". It better be limited only until I get tired of drinking it.

After 5 o'clock, but Southerners know it's always 5 o'clock somewhere, we have to have cocktail hour. The men can have their beer, but us GRITS* have to have something a little more than a cocktail in a a bottle. A good standby is a Crown and water. (that's on a bad day) but since we are celebrating, something a little fruity would be in order.

*GRITS=Girls Raised In The South

Seltzer water is a staple in my home. As should be in any good bar, but in a home with kids, you can create some of the most yummiest "virgin" cocktails that even the big kids will be wanting.
There are several variations on the recipes and several alcohol and non alcoholic mixers, but I have found a little secret to make everyone happy.
Although non-alcoholic, Martini Gold makes a great line of mixers. I have tried the chocolate, the pomegranate (pome-tini) and the green apple (apple-tini). I also happen to love the lemon for a lemon drop. Nothing says Summer in the South like a Lemon Drop (oh yeah, have to use vodka for that)
Kiddos are hooked too! LOL Theirs are made 2 and 2 but with seltzer water. Told you seltzer is a staple in our home. They are to die for. Most of these mixes are kid friendly with seltzer and gives them something different and fun. Not promoting underage drinking, here. You know kids love fruity drinks. Mine love the pomegranate too. They also make a blue raspberry, that you can pour over crushed ice from your blender, add seltzer or Sprite, and viola, Slushie.
For decoration, you can rim their glasses in super fine sugar.
Just rim the glass with an orange or lemon wedge then turn the glass upside down into the sugar poured on to a shallow plate. insert glass. You can make a batch of these ahead of time and keep them in the fridge so they are cold. This also keeps the sugar on longer. Another tip is to freeze lemonade for ice so that when it melts, the drink is not watered down, but still adds another layer of flavor, especially good in a lemon drop, if you like to use ice, which isn't really protocol. ;) Good for tea, or just freeze a batch of tea ice cubes. Anything you can think of freezing to keep drinks from getting watered down is great and your guests will appreciate you for it.
Another great idea for frozen punch ice cubes, is my Sangria I make with white grape juice and pomegranate juice. I add juice of on lime and one lemon, seltzer water see,
and cut up fruit of your choice. I use apples, orange slices, lemons, limes, sliced grapes (freeze them for a great treat and to use as ice), mango, papaya, etc. Put it all in a pretty clear glass pitcher and you have the best non alcoholic drink. It is totally "yours" because you can pick the fruit to add. Just make sure to use the lemon and lime juice so that the acidity can cut the sweetness and tartness of the juices. For an alcoholic version, you can add a nice white wine. Make sure you let all the fruit chill overnight for a really great flavor fusion. If using seltzer water, wait until guests arrive to add "chilled" seltzer water to the sangria just before serving. Same with wine. You can also use Rum, if you like. Whatever your choice, make sure you make a batch for the kids and have it clearly marked "For Kids" or "Non Alcoholic" so that they do not get into the wrong batch.

For sides, we have the bread, and I love grilled corn on the cob with "kicked-up butter". Nothing can be so easy and so yummy at the same time. You can either opt to shuck the corn from the husk and grill in foil with the butter all over the corn in the foil (this is what I do...yum). Or, you can grill the corn still in the husk. When it is ready, peel back the husk, leaving intact for looks and have the butter spread ready for your guests to spread on the corn.

Butter Spread "Kicked-Up Butter"

You can make this depending on your amount of guests or make an entire batch, as this keeps up to 2 weeks in fridge so you can use it later on asparagus, in potatoes, on bread, on corn, (again), and on anything you can think of.

This is for the "leftover size" version, as we like to call it. That is if any is left over. Also, a dash is my grandmother's measurement. I would like to say it is a teaspoon, but you can alter as you like to fit your taste.
Use margarine or butter at room temperature (entire entire tub) Butter works best, because it has a richer flavor, But margarine can be used and work just fine if you use it.
Remove from tub and place into a bowl just a bit larger than the butter tub. With a whisk, whisk the butter/margarine until soft and creamy.s
add a dash of garlic powder, a dash of Old Bay Seasoning.
dash of sea salt and a dash of lemon pepper, a couple of drops of Pete's hot sauce- (optional)
Whisk together well and that' s it.

You can also use this by spreading both sides of steaks with it just before placing steaks on grill. Yum-O, take my word for it!.

Now that we ladies have the sides, the desserts, and drinks under control, we can wait on the men to get to grillin'!

For a dessert that will leave them thinking you are wonder woman. Make up a batch of Symphony Brownies. OH Words cannot describe them.

You will need 1 box of family size brownies (13x9 pan)
3 large Symphony candy bars, 1lb size

Mix brownies according to package directions but use 2 eggs. Stir by hand 50 strokes. Pour half the batter into a non stick pan or a metal pan lined with foil. On top of half the batter, place the 3 1lb candy bars, face up. Pour the remainder of the batter. Spread evenly on top, making sure to cover candy bars. Bake at 350 degrees for about 35 minutes. Check at 25 minutes. Will still look gooey, and stick test will not be accurate. As you bake these you will "just know" when they are done. Almost to the stage where the top starts to get flaky. Do not over bake!
Adapted from Paula Deen

I hope you enjoy these recipes that have been used in our family for years. Enjoy your holiday, most of all enjoy being with your family. And don't forget to make memories that last a lifetime.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Those coming for Friday Freebie, it will not be held today due to the Holiday. I am going out of town and even though I am wireless, my parents are NOT. We are talking way out in God's Country. It is so beautiful. All of the flowers, the lake, the fields, the horses. BUT.THERE.IS.NO.INTERNET.With all the beauty around, it could be a good thing. I can take pictures But I can't upload them and have lots of memories of when I didn't have Internet to update my blog to share on the blog when I get home or to scrapbook.

So, nonetheless, Friday Freebie will not be until Monday, May 26, 2008, or there after.

The rules state that the giveaway may not always be on a Friday, and it could be on any day of the week". So,I guess you will just have to come back later to see when it is! LOL

I will give you a hint...what I have lined up for the next giveaway is "summer themed" and is a combo for Mom and/or Dad and your child. It is something super for summer!

Our First Friday Freebie Winner was Jeff from Daddy's Toolbox! Don't forget to go visit him and give him some Daddy Blog Luv!
I'm so happy the first freebie winner was a Dad Blog! How cool is that! Don't forget about those guys! They do an awesome job and have some really great blogs.

Visit the other participants as well. You can have a tea party and find the newest teas to sip; find out everything about life; and also, a touching, yet poignant, everyday look at life, and with serious insight.
You can find them at:

Kettle and Cup ::::waves to Marye::::

MichelleSmiles ::::waves to Michelle:::::

Coming to a nursery near you ::::Waves to Dawn::::


I would like to extend my family's own personal THANK YOU to soldier Carl Spurlock. He is home with his family this weekend, but unfortunately, will have to return to war after only 18 days at home.

His daughter is H2 and she is friends with SC2, and they are best friends! They have their summer all planned out. I watched the two girls laughing and giggling and their minds working hard at their calendar and making plans. They were using stickers, markers and cut outs and making ideas come to life. Pretty good little organizers/planners if you ask me!

Please keep our soldiers in your hearts, minds and especially prayers this weekend and every day. Remember that most of them have families at home, waiting patiently for a call, an email, or a letter.

Have a fun, safe Memorial Day Weekend!

and I will take pretty pictures and upload them as soon as I can :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Attention Parents, We Interrupt Your Life for SUMMER!

It's finally here! Last day of school was today. Awards, photos, crying, all the junk out of the locker, and Mom getting pissed off...more about that later. And with all of this, comes the age old question asked by Moms every year at this time, "What are we going to DO with them for Three-Whole-Months?"!

Never fear SpoiledMom is here.
Just Remember the Mantra, Happiness isn't Material. If you are concerned about your school-aged child retaining those fresh math skills, history and science facts and whatever else they learned over the last 10 months, there are many ways to help kids of all ages maintain skills over the summer.

Remember summer is a time for "R&R" from the rigor of the classroom, so trying to replicate the classroom experience at home may result in resistance or burn-out on all things educational. I would prevent actual "study time" during summer. Maybe toward the end of summer, a preview of sorts, would be acceptable.
Don't Push Too Hard....
Instead of in your face approaches, look for opportunities for your teen to use critical thinking skills to solve real problems that are important to him. For example, let her apply math skills to doubling or modifying favorite recipes, such as homemade cinnamon rolls we make for breakfast; my oldest daughter has stared making pancakes, as well. Kids at this age are loving kitchen time. After a batch of fresh baked cookies, help your son or daughter research a political cause that interests him or her. Encourage your children to devise a more time-efficient method of completeting her least favorite chore, then test their new method against the old one.

Use your critical thinking skills to create interesting opportunities for learning that will foster higher level thinking in your teen. You might even discover an interesting topic or two for dinner conversation. Make it a point to sit down to dinner, every night, even during the summer. It provides family time as well as down time for your kids after a busy day of swimming, biking, or shooting hoops.

Get Unplugged....

Another idea to consider, and my family took part in this last year, is to downshift on the downloading. Summer is a great time to do this. Recent studies have revealed correlations between the hours of television viewed per day and attention difficulties in school and childhood obesity.

Given those findings, spending more time unplugged during the warm summer months sounds like a no-brainer to me. It wasn't really as bad as I thought it would be. I did implement a one hour rule. They had one hour each week, they could split it up in equal minutes per day, or have more minutes one day than another, but, they could not use the entire hour in one period at one time. This was another way of sneaking math in to figure out how many minutes they had per day and to figure out how many days they could get a better time deal.

Children of all ages develop and strengthen more brain connections through active and interactive play than most activities involving a flat screen; e.g. TV., video games, and computers.
Have Fun!

Do your family a favor and implement more play out-side time and moderate TV and computer time. You will all be better off for it!
Guest Boggers SpoiledChild1 and SpoiledChild2 will be guest blogging during the summer. They will be blogging on mp3s, wii games, clohes, ,movies, hot electronics, and a variety of different topics. Take the poll to see what you would like to see the girls blog about!
spoil yourself!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Winner For Friday Freebie

We have a Winner!!

The winner of the first Friday Freebie is:

Jeff at Daddy's Toolbox

The Friday Freebie question was: How did you come up with the name of your blog?

This is how Jeff came up with the name of his blog:

"DaddysToolbox.com is the name of my blog. I thought about a few different
names and at first was using RaisinKids (as in raising kids) but didn't
like it. Then I thought, I want to give my thoughts, my ideas about
my life as a
daddy to my posts and other helpful parenting info. So i
thought, hmmm, what
tools would i use to do that. Then it hit me, Daddy +
Tools ... store them in a
toolbox. Daddys Toolbox was born."

Go over and check out Jeff's blog. It has a lot of resourceful information for parents, great family photos and stories. He is also starting a Carnival May 26th, so head over for all the information. It is a great fun site, and the best part, it's a Dad Blog!

Congratulations, Jeff! I didn't think I was going to get all those entries entered into the generator. LOL

As a reminder, your prize is Andrew Weil, MD's Healthy Heart Kit. Dr. Weil writes for Prevention Magazine and has his own Medical Newsletter. This kit helps you to start or keep your heart healthy by minimizing your risk factors, changing your lifestyle, optimizing the mind-body connection through mindfulness and guided imagery, and reducing chronic inflammation. It contains a 52 page workbook , 2 audio CDs and 25 heart health cards.

Approximate retail value is $25.00

you can go here for more information:


Just for kicks, you have the option to trade your prize for 5 entries in the next drawing. You have to be sure to come back and answer the question in the comments section during the giveaway, but I will enter your name 5 times in lieu of prize. Totally your decision. That is the fun of it. Keep what you won, or try for a better prize.

You can still enter next time if you keep this prize but it will only be one entry.

Email me, leave a comment on the freebie site, or DM on Twitter @spoiledmom and let me know your decision.


I want to give a big thank you and linky love to the other participants:

Marye @ Kettle and Cup

Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You

Michelle @ MichelleSmiles

These ladies all have fabulous blogs. Stop by and tell them hello and read their fab blogs.

Sorry girls. Hope you come back for the next giveaway!

Remember, all prizes are purchased by me. They are not donated and not "review products". I am doing this as a way to get to know bloggers, have some fun and who doesn't like a freebie? not as many people as i thought .... LOL

I have some great freebies lined up so don't forget to stop back by next Friday!

Thank you all for participating!

Cabbage Patch Babies Lead to Delinquents And Oh, the Duggars Are Having Number 18

Yes, I am sure you have all heard by now that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are expecting their 18th child. Yes, 18. I'll give you a minute to get up off the floor.

Back? Good. Hope you didn't hurt yourself. The hoo-doo started about 2 weeks ago when the Duggar's started gracing all the early morning news shows. I have thought about blogging about the whole thing, but I was too busy reading everyone else's great posts. Between the Duggar's bottomless uterus and Kathie Lee airing her obscenely arrogant and ignorant opinions about mommy bloggers. The week was full of confusion, madness and mommy bloggers gearing up like B J Penn gettin' ready to take down Sean Sherk. (UFC tomorrow night..be there)

I have watched the shows on the Duggar family. I didn't quite get it then, and I have to admit, I don't get it now. Even less, now that there are going to be 18. I don't see the point of it.

To each his own, and judge not lest thy be judge, so I'll throw the first stone. First of all, not that it really has anything to do with it, but what is up with the clothes? I know it would take a fortune even at Wal-Mart (and I'm not knocking Wal-Mart)-my kiddos wore many Garanimals and Kid Connection in their day - Is it part of their religion? They always seem so "perfect". Almost robot like. They smile on cue, they speak only when spoken to, and play their muscial instruments with glee. (oh to have a child like that) .. heh

I do, however, have a problem with the older children being used as babysitters. I know children need discipline and to help out. Mine have chore lists. But I didn't have them to be my own personal servants. I just think there should be a cut-off point somewhere.

According to their website , after their marriage, Jim Bob and Michelle were not ready for children (!!) so Michelle went on the pill. They wanted to have children on their time table. They state they could not afford them at that time. (it costs more now!) Four years later, Michelle went off the pill and had their first child. Michelle went back on the pill, conceived, then miscarried. During their time of mourning, they sought out a Christian doctor, they read the "fine print" on the package insert of the birth control pill. The same ones Michelle had been taking this entire time and found, to their dismay, that birth control pills can cause miscarriage. This was a revelation for the two of them. "They are Christians" they proclaimed, "We are pro-life". They said God was punishing them for their selfish choices in using birth control. Michelle went off of birth control for good, right then and there. They prayed to God for children, in His timing. So it began. To fornicate to procreate.

The Duggar's always say God will provide for them. Didn't their town and neighbors provide their first home for them and a lot of the things they needed at the time? Did God provide that? Depends on how you look at it I suppose. Did God provide the cable documentaries, five (5) that I have found. Did God provide the paid television appearances on all the talk shows, including Jimmy Kimmel Live. something about them being on Kimmel is comical to me..hate it that I missed that one. Did God provide all the Ladies Home Journal covers and articles through the years and all of the other media outlets they have been seen and heard on. Did God provide this for them? No. Their unusual situation of 17 children provided them the opportunity.

Duggar's Donated Family Home

That's the problem I have with it. We are a family of 4.2 and in this day and time it is almost as draining financially as it is physically to keep up with their demands, and they are teens. I can only imagine families of 5 or more.
There are a lot of layers to this whole scenario and it is, if nothing else, fascinating to me. The attention to the children, quality vs. quantity, guilt issues and depression Michelle must face. I had PPD after both of my children. I can't imagine Mrs.Duggar being all that rosy after being pregnant for 11 years of her life. I still do not think she has went all this time without a BAD DAY. I also wonder about their future issues such as schooling and college education. Not to mention her age when the last one goes into college. Especially if they keep having children.

Duggar Family Bus

Michelle is always so soft spoken in her interviews. She almost shows child like qualities. This is a fine line here so I want to be very careful. She has said herself that the doctors have told her not to have anymore children, but she laughs it off and has said and I quote, "...they do not know my body like I do." Let's use common sense here. A woman is not made to have 18 children. Plain and simple. The End.
I didn't want to bring God into this. I have my own relationship with God. I am a Christian woman and pray each day, if only a "Thank you, Lord, for this day you have given me. Bless my children, family and everyone today." I believe that if you believe in Him, there is a beautiful place where we will go when we pass on, and I believe Hell is a terrible place that I don't want to visit. Even though some days, I feel like I have been there and back. With that said, I do not think God is whispering to Michelle Duggar and telling her to birth all of these kids. Nor do I believe He has chosen Michelle to perform this, I almost want to say, "ridiculous" feat.

Jim Bob, however, seems nice enough, but something about him bothers me. Maybe he smiles too much for me. Not that I have anything against smiling, but these people smile 24/7. Watch them. Jim Bob seems to have an underlying controlling side to him. Maybe it is my past psych classes haunting me, I just can't help but wonder if he is pressuring Michelle into this. Like I said too many layers.

I believe these children will not leave home, they will live their lives as their parents see fit and not have their own vision of the world or of what they want from life. The oldest child is now 20 years old. The older children are at home taking care of the younger children. The older girls talk about the younger girls as if they are their own. How they get them dressed and teach them and play with them. What has happened to the older children's childhoods? Did they have one? They will always remember their mother having a new baby every year. Think about it. Children are not meant to raise children. I feel for the older children. I think they have not had a childhood as your child or my children have had. They seem happy and jolly on the outside, but what about the inside?

Do they really want to play music on Oprah or the next talk show that comes along?

Will staying home to help out a large family hinder the older kids? Has it already?
I heard where the oldest have went to, instead of college, to a 9-5 job, to help support the family.

The following is from the website "Financial Freedom". The cult religion Jim Bob pushes all day.

The remarks in blue are my own remarks and opinions.

From the website "Financial Freedom":

Should my child get a job?

At an early age, children should start learning the value of money. This is best done when they accomplish task in return for rewards. During their early years, value can be taught with relatively simple task and small rewards. As they grow older the jobs should become more demanding and the rewards larger.
With the abundance of domestic task available in most families, working outside of the home is not always necessary. (especially when you have 18 children)

However, children need to also have domestic responsibilities (chores) that are unpaid. For example, a child might be assigned to keep their room clean and made up daily. They might also take the trash out, care for a pet, do the laundry or help with kitchen duties during meal times. (Isn't that the entire purpose behind chores? To get paid?) Then for extra paying jobs, they might clean out the garage or attic, wash cars or do lawn work. They might also offer to wash neighbors cars, do lawn work or baby sit. (And the children do this after the household chores are finished, their homework completed, and Mom is birthing babies and Dad is.......... doing what?)

Should I buy my child a car when they get their driver's license?
Most young people in their teens wait anxiously for that special birthday when they turn sixteen (some states may have a different age limit to obtain a drivers license). It's a time of increased mobility, freedom and from a parental perspective, responsibility.

But is it a time for parents to present their young teens with the keys to their very own auto?
In a majority of American middle to upper class families, an auto is standard issue with each new driver's license. I believe the problem exist(typo) not with the fact that an additional auto is added to the family fleet (fleet? I don't know about you, but I'm far from having a fleet) but the issue of ownership. When children are unemployed, they are unable to "own" items that require money to operate and maintain. When a child is conditioned to believe that a particular auto is "theirs" yet they have no financial obligations (maintenance, gas, insurance, etc.), they lose the proper perspective of the value of a dollar.

Still from "Financial Freedom": Blue is direct quote from website, smaller print is my opinion.

The child may use a particular car from the family fleet more than another but needs to know that all of the cars belong to the parent. (I, myself do not own a "family fleet" of cars.) It might even be a good idea to insure that your young driver drives all of the family cars periodically to discourage (i want to discourage my child?)the concept of ownership. When a child is given ownership to an expensive item such as an auto without the financial responsible,(typo) it becomes increasingly difficult for them to identify with the reality associated with auto ownership. (No, they just get to pick a car of their choice from the family fleet.)
The problem facing most young people is two fold. First, their world is filled with an endless supply of distractions from reality and secondly, most parents are so busy in their own lives that they normally don't have time (or make the time) to provide the necessary coaching required to help their children focus on future professional dreams and opportunities. This is why many children default to following in their parents footsteps or opt for the first thing that comes along in the way of employment.
(Birthing a multitude of children and taking handouts from neighbors and churches.)

Michelle and Jim Bob are real estate agents and most of their income is from a get rich scheme of buying and selling property fast. We all know the economy is bust right now. The kicker in this is that Jim Bob handles all the finances while Michelle pops out babies. This Seminar Jim Bob is peddling is a financial seminar, sells for $125 and comes with a "Men's Manual" (what???) a Men's Manual??? For background purposes, Jim Bob cancelled his appointment for a loan several years ago when he ran into the founder of this Financial Freedom Seminar. We are not talking about Suze Orman or Dave Ramsey here. All the links can be found on their website. The founder, Jim Sammons, was on the verge of bankruptcy and now sells his videos and "Men's Manual" and is an established real estate developer in the Dallas area. Something makes me think Jim Bob and Michelle are on his payroll somehow.

The Duggar's are Conservative Baptists who endorse the teachings of Bill Gothard, who claims to have dedicated his life to helping teenagers and their parents. Gothard is relatively unknown outside his gilded realm. He rarely speaks to the press and photos of him are hard to find. He heads an Institute in Basic Life Principals, generally thought of as a cult, which teaches, among other things, “married believers should eschew birth control and have as many children as possible.” Easy for him to say. He is unmarried and has no children. He is quite a character. Heh.

Would love to hear your comments and opinions on this matter.

edited 5/23/08: content added

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sunday, Part 2

Hello everyone !

I am leaving the Friday Freebie open until 11am cst (12 est and 9am pst) on Monday, May 19, 2008.

I would have thought there would have been more entries but keeping it positive.
For those of you who entered, THANK YOU! I will be posting the winner late Monday and getting your gift out in the mail.
I hope you enjoy the website.

It is a potpourri of my life.

spoil yourself........

Spoiled Sunday

We had a blast at the Jr. Civitan Car Wash yesterday and at Movie in the Park last night. It was a great turn out and it looks like we have enough donations to fund a youth's trip to Louisville for the Jr. Civitan International Convention!

I know the site is quite new (almost 4 months)....heh.. but I thought everyone would love a freebie?! I have a lot of items lined up... depending on how this goes. A few examples are: gift cards, flash drive, cookbooks/books to name a few.
I don't want to give too much info away, like the car, I want some of the freebies to be a surprise! I can tell you they are really cool!

Why am I doing this? I have always loved giving gifts. Everything I do has a theme. Secondly, I just want to meet new people. If you have read any of my blog, you know I have cancer. I have fought this bitch once, and I plan on kicking ass the second time, too. My mantra has forever been, "To give is better than to receive." I need all the good karma I can get.

Enough of me.

To sign up, make sure you go to Friday's post, "Friday Freebies" and answer the question in the comments section. Those comments will go into "Jerry Generator" and pick a winner.

I will get some pics up from yesterday's excitement a little later.

Have a great Sunday!

spoil youself.............
plant flowers

Friday, May 16, 2008

Friday Freebies

Today, I am beginning a little thing I'd like to call

Friday Freebies!

It may not be every Friday.

It could be a different day of the week.

That's the fun.

You will have to keep checking back
to see when it will be.
I promise it will be a great prize!

I'm not SpoiledMom for nothing!

The prize for this week is:

Andrew Weil, MD's "The Healthy Heart Kit"

it contains:

a 52 page work book,

2 audio CDs


29 heart health cards

Feel free to contact me for more information!

This week's question: How did you come up with your Blog's name?
make sure you leave your name and answer in the comments section

Rules of Participation

How to Play

Don't go thinking you are going to get off easy here.
I like comments and you like free stuff, right?
Well, here's what you have to do.

Participation requirements may change from week to week, but this first giveaway is simplicity at its best.

1. Leave your name and answer to question above in the comments section. (I will ask different questions for each Freebie, so make sure you find out what you need to do)

2. Please, only one answer, per person, per freebie. More than one will cause you to be disqualified. ( I will check)

3. Contest will be open for 48 hours from time of first answer.. After 48 hours, contest will close. I will then use the random generator to pick the winner number.

4. Contest winner will be posted next day on website.

5. Winner has 24 hours to email me for shipping instructions.

6. I reserve the right to cancel Freebie Giveaway at my discretion, but not during an active giveaway.

7. Freebie values will be between $10-$40.

8. Shipping will be paid by me.

9. Freebies will not be substituted for cash.

10. Have Fun! I look forward to learning a lot about all of you!


I will randomly pick a day of the week to hold Freebie Day. I will post the information at 12am cst. (10pm west coast) (1am east coast) on the beginning day of Freebie. There will be two (2) Freebies given away per month.

I have not been compensated for items involved in the giveaway. All expenses incurred are my own.

If I review the product, it is of my own opinon and has not been influenced by anyone or any entity related to the production or marketing of said Freebie. (i.e. I tell you exactly what I think of it)

All Freebie items are new, unused, and in original packaging unless I have opened to make sure the item is unbroken, all parts, if any, are included and to make sure I didn't really want it, so I put it up for grabs item is in working order. If I have opened the item for any reason, I will disclose at start of contest along with reason why.

I will use a number generator from Random.org to generate the winning number. I will also provide screen shots of the number picked from generator for those of you who request.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Summer is a commin'

Blogger's Unite Day 2008
Love thy Neighbor
Make Peace Not War

I love this time of year. I say the same thing when Fall rolls around, and I love that season, as well. But there is something about Spring turning into Summer that brings out the child in all of us. I think it is the newness of things. The rebirth of it all. The green, the colors, the scents, the youth.

A few years ago, I was in a deep depression over the sudden death of my husband. After just six months, I quit my job to stay home with my children again. They were 7 and 5 at the time. All of those years seem like a blurr to me now. I know I was in great pain. I remember the pain and the depression. Now, however, I feel like I missed out on a few years of my daughters' lives. After my husband's death, the holidays I loved so much, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, quickly came and went. I could not tell you to this day what happened or what I did. Depression has a way of flipping a switch in your mind, erasing all the pain, all the feelings. You do not know it at the time, but later on, when you have come out of the fog, you realize just how much you have missed out on. Everything that passed you by.

So many good summer memories were made at the home my husband and I shared with our children. The Little Tykes gigantic blue boat wader pool, the turtle sandbox, the swing set, the tree swing. My flower gardens. The cookouts we had with our neighbors. I didn't want it to end. Sadly, it did. I packed everything up December of 2004 and sold my home, our home. I could not stand to be there any longer without my husband. I felt the good times were gone. Depression took hold of me. It was worse than the cancer had been a few years earlier. With it being Christmas, I knew I could not get into a new home right that moment. I did not want to settle for the first thing I found.

I found a modest rental while I looked for something to purchase. My mistake was telling the homeowners that it was only temporary. They locked me into a one year lease. I hated the house. It was too small. It was half of my old house. I had to pay an extra $150 a month for a storage building just for the furniture and belongings that would not fit into the house. This did nothing for my depression. I felt as if I failed my daughters. They lost their Dad, their Mother was not herself and I had yanked their home away from them. They had to make new friends, start a new (yet as schools go, one of the best in the county). The elementary school had once been listed as one of the top 100 in the US.

As thankful as I was for having a home, I was still depressed that I could not provide the best for my kids. I hate to admit it, but I was ashamed. I barely made it through the year's lease and when it was up, I quickly started looking for a new home. Our home. A new start. Several could have been the one, but one I was too late on, another, the people accepted someone else's offer and the other turned out to be more work than I wanted to put into. I wanted a turn-key. I was not planning on going anywhere. I didn't care about upgrading later.

Finally, in May of 2005, I found it. Our beautiful home. It was not our old home, but it was us. A two year old, four bedroom, 3 and a half bath, large great room, awesome master bedroom with bathroom. A glorious, large eat in kitchen. (so what if there was not a dinning room), and a rocking mud room with laundry off the back deck. We were home. Again.

I think that is why I love the spring/summer seasons again. It brings back memories of life to me. I will always love fall. Most certainly will cherish and love Christmas, the birth of Jesus. But I give thanks each spring and summer for giving me life back.

Now, my family dries into our subdivision with the belief that God has placed us here, in this house, in this neighborhood, for this season of our lives to be the aroma of Christ to those who live close to us (2 Corinthians 2:15). We know our neighborhood is more than just an address. It has united us to spend more time together and to get to know our neighbors, caring for them and spending time with them. The neighbors and I walk our dogs together. We have cookouts together and my children have made friendships that I hope will last their lifetime. I have also found someone special in my life. Again.

Take time to get to know your neighbors, plan activities in your neighborhood to bring you closer together. Find a family to build a relationship with to fellowship with and start new memories of your own.

spoil yourself....

take cookies to a neighbor for no reason, it feels good.

Yummy Free Iced Coffee For a Good Cause

On Thursday, May 15, Dunkin’ Donuts will be giving away FREE iced coffee.

You can choose from the free, 16 oz regular iced, or Berry-Berry iced coffees.*

Event begins at 10 am and ends at 10 pm.*

The Good Cause:

Dunkin’ Donuts is also partnering with a non-profit organization, National Police Athletic League (NPAL), which is a group that supports underprivileged youth through education, sports, and leadership opportunities as well as various community service projects.

Dunkin’ Donuts is donating $80,000 to be broken up in increments of $5,000 over 16 individual markets to go towards funding their Youth Leadership Program.

Dunkin' anticipates that they will give away nearly 4 million cups of iced coffee on May 15th.

This will also be a great time to try Dunkin' Donuts coffee, if for some reason, you haven't yet. Those who know, know it is oh so good. I swear it has magical powers! LOL Just remember, the freebie is for the iced coffee.**

*Check your local Dunkin' Donuts for participation.

** Donut not included.

this is NOT a paid endorsement, however, if someone would like to pay me, I would accept. I would also accept coffee as payment.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Famous E-Mail

Okay, so it doesn't take much to make me laugh out loud and snort giggle like a little girl. And yes, I know what I am about to show you went out to all the other people who emailed a famous Mother on Mother's Day. I also know unless I really was the only person to receive one, it is just a standard email where they (the computer) just changed the name on all of the emails.

But this morning, I did giggle like a little girl, (a little) and I get a little warm and fuzzy, when I opened my email and saw IT. (suspense gotten to you yet?)

Actually, I had forgotten that I emailed this person, whom I admire greatly, and sometimes, although very few, disagree with, but am totally behind 100% of the way. I emailed her a Mother's Day wish. That's all, nothing fancy, just a simple wish for her to have a Happy Mother's Day with her daughter. I didn't expect anything in return. It was just a nice gesture on my part.

(you've already looked haven't you?)

Oh well, here it is, straight from my inbox. My Address names have been scribbled over like a two year old> haphazardly marked out to protect the guilty innocent. ;)

Even though it is a generic email sent out to thousands, this is the only one sent to ME. I have printed it off and will keep it for my girls to have one day. When they find it again, they will probably laugh and say, here is some of Mom's old emails. Remember when we had email? I'm sure they will have a laugh moment then.

So for now, I can be giddy like a little girl who has gotten an autograph from someone famous. Or at least from someone who works for someone famous.

Or from the computer of someone who knows someone famous.

Oh hell....here it is...

Now, for your patience, I give you THE email:

click for larger view, if you want..

Hope it was worth the wait!

spoil yourself today.......

laugh like a little girl, it feels good

Sunday, May 11, 2008


I wanted to take this time
to wish all of you out there
a wonderful, beautiful
Mother's Day!

To all of you expecting, take this time
to relax and put your feet up.
Soon, you will not have time to.
This time next year, you will have a little one
right there with you to really appreciate what this
day is about.

For those of you with children,
gather them up and hug them,
hug them tight.
Kiss them,
love them
and let them know
that without them,
you would not be
a Mother.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Saturday Scoop Nashville Area

For those in and around the Nashville, TN area:

Stone Crest Hospital in Smyrna
is offering
free skin cancer screenings
Saturday, May 10, from 8am until Noon.
1 in 85 people develop melanonma at some point in their lifetime.
Melanoma is most often associated with sun exposure,
mostly from sunburns during childhood.

Minute Clinics and CVS Pharmacies
in the
Nashville Area
are offering
Free Cholesterol Screenings May 11- June 7.
No appointment is necessary.
People over 20 years of age
need to have their choleserol checked
every 5 years.

Minute Clinics and CVS have joined up for this program
to reduce the risk of heart disease and encourage a healthy lifestyle.

***If you are not in the Nashville Area, please check with your local CVS and/or Minute Clinics to see if they have a similar program in place.***

For everyone:

Please visit Olay's campaign website Skin Cancer Takes Friends
to get a free skin cancer screening for you and a friend.
Log on to find a dermatologist in your area,
schedule an appointment for you and your friend.

You may consider taking along your husband as your 'friend'. Many men think they are not susceptible, when in reality, they are somewhat more likely to develop skin cancer than women. Especially on their facial areas. This is due to not using an SPF while working outdoors or golfing and gardening. Some men do not want to take that extra step of applying an SPF.
Women are fortunate that most of our makeup now comes with an added SPF of at least 15.


I hope you find this information useful and take advantage of the offers to make sure your health is in check!

spoil yourself.........
it might save your life

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Cancer, with a Scent of Baby Magic

I think I am going through a mid life crisis at 36. Maybe a nervous meltdown. Maybe it's the Cancer. Maybe, just maybe, its this little thing called 'Life'.

Everyone is having a baby. I want a baby. I want a brand new, Baby Magic smelling, onesie-with-a-cute-saying-wearing, baby. I, however, can not have one. I should say, I can not have another. Ten years ago, a hysterectomy (from Cancer, part one) took that ability away.

I am very blessed for my two daughters. They are straight A students. Okay, there is a high B in there every once in awhile. I didn't say they were perfect. They are not. They are messy, they don't pick up their clothes and want to get out of doing their chores. But that aside, I couldn't have asked for better girls.

I know there are women out there who are aching for a child who can not have children. Their situation is different from mine. I am fortunate to have had the experience of childbirth, twice. What I am feeling does not compare to what women that are unable to conceive go through. I can not begin to imagine, much less say 'I know how you feel'. I do not. My heart goes out to all the women wanting so desperately a baby. Hearing the word infertile. Undergoing fertility treatments and all the waiting, and sometimes, disappointments. I know none of that, and my heart aches for you, truly. I admire these women for their strength.

After writing that paragraph, and thinking about it all, I almost feel selfish for my wants. Like I said, I already have two daughters. I feel guilty for saying I want another baby, knowing there are other women out there who would give everything they have to experience pregnancy, birth, the baby years, and the loving and goodness of it all.

Yet, there will be no new baby. Instead, I have radiation treatments, medications that make me everything from giddy to grumpy to a grade-A bitch, and I have truly began to lose my memory...(that's kinda like pregnancy, right? the hormones and memory part )... and not to leave it out, chemo's coming up for a visit soon. (that's kinda like the visitor who comes to your house the second you get home from the hospital and won't leave, no matter how tired you tell her you are) I

Here I am again, just hoping to get through this for the sake of my family.
It would be nice to have a new little bundle of joy. But I want to win this fight.
My life is blessed as it is. In addition to my daughters, I have a fiance, a cat, a dog, and Daisy, my shih-tzu, that my fiance gave me for Christmas. He knew that even though it wouldn't take the ache away, Daisy would love me and need me and I immediately loved and needed her, too.

I think I'll try to make a Baby Magic scented candle.

spoil yourself today...............

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

When Unfortunate was Fortunate

I was 26 years old when I was told I had cervical cancer.

I remember the date, September 22, 1997, one month before my youngest daughter turned 1.
Two days earlier, I had been chatting on the phone with one of my closest girlfriends who was expecting her first child at the time. We had a habit of long phone calls. Both of my girls were asleep at the time. She and I talked for almost two hours.
When I got off the phone, I noticed it. There, on the sofa, the biggest, darkest spot I had ever seen in my life.
It was blood, a lot of blood.
I felt faint.
I felt scared.
I knew my periods had been irregular for a while. They were getting worse though, this particular week had brought about more concern and I was at the point where I was wearing 'overnight' pads on top of each other.
This day, during a time of 2 hours, it had went through the two pads, my shorts and onto and into my sofa. (yes, I had it cleaned)
I remember thinking I looked freakin' bow-legged when I walked because of the ginormous amount of pad between my legs.
On top of it all, I could not get in to see my OB/BYN.
On this day, however, I called them, frantic, telling them I had to get in and I had to get in NOW! They set an appointment for the next morning. I went in had the routine exam and left, not knowing anymore than when I went in. I was told to "just wait" for the lab results to come back.
Dr. Not- So-McDreamy also thought I needed to be on an anti-depressant, (WTF?) so off I went to the pharmacy to start what I now refer to as 'The Paxil Years'.
I waited four days, not counting the weekend that was in there, and called the Nurse. She told me there were no lab results back yet, call back in two days. Two days later, I called back and was told that everything seemed fine on my labs. I needed to reschedule to come back in and have tests run for other diagnosis.
By this time I am going through a box of "overnight size" pads a day.
Remember girls, this was the late 90's. No thin mini was going to tackle this.
There were no appointments available for my Dr., I had to wait another week. I even had connections, because I had worked at this hospital before and during my first pregnancy. That was to no avail.
I couldn't understand why no one but I could see something was wrong, terribly wrong.
A few days before my appointment, my Doctor called me at home. Now, you know that it is not good when your DOCTOR calls you at HOME. I immediately sat down. He started by asking how I was feeling and if there had been any improvements, to which I answered an emphatic "NO!". Then came the clincher.
Doc: "I am calling first to apologize to you and to give you some news."
I am waiting on the other end of the line, too afraid to speak. Too afraid to think. I do remember I wanted to throw the phone and run away.
After what seemed like thirty minutes, but was probably only 30 seconds,
Dr.IDontHaveTimeToSeeYouInMyOffice spoke, "I am apologizing for a clerical error. Your lab results were inadvertently labeled with another patient's name, but thank goodness we caught it." (It had been three weeks) "I also need to tell you, Mrs.IHopeYourPaxilHasStartedWorking, it seems, according to the lab work, you have cervical cancer. You are at Stage 2a, invasive. Do you know about staging? You had to have had the cancer during your last pregnancy, but unfortunately, it wasn't detected."
'Unfortunately?' was all I could think. I still had not uttered one word or sound.
"Are you there?", my doctor asked.
I managed a "yes".
He apologized again and told me he wanted me to come in the next day.
I finally managed to speak, "I have been trying to get in to see you for almost three weeks, and now, all of a sudden, I can see you tomorrow?" Why? Because I have CANCER? I wanted to scream. Because you screwed up and now you are terrified I am going to sue your ass? Of course, I didn't scream all of this, but I really wanted to.
I agreed to the appointment and we said our goodbyes.

'Unfortunately' kept creeping back into my mind that night. I know what Dr.F-up, meant by 'unfortunately' it wasn't detected. ....maybe it would not have become invasive, maybe I wouldn't be a stage 2a, maybe I wouldn't be sitting here with cancer at all.
My mind was racing and all I kept thinking was 'Fortunately' and 'Thank God'. I would not have wanted to be faced with a decision on whether or not to terminate my pregnancy due to the cancer.
Fortunately, my beautiful baby girl was not affected by the cancer.
Fortunately, my pregnancy was uneventful, save for having morning sickness almost the entire 9 months. This, however, was odd, considering I only had mild morning sickness with my first pregnancy. Also, I lost weight with my second pregnancy, instead of ballooning a 65 pounds (9 was all girl) as I did with my first.
I was wondering if these could have been some small clues that could have set signals off if someone were to be looking for cancer, but no one was.

Before I finally fell asleep, I remember thinking how do they mislabel something as important as lab work?
It came quickly to my mind that there was another person involved in this.
Someone I didn't know.
I said a prayer for her as well and thought, "Fortunately, the woman who was told she had (my)cancer now does not." Thank God.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Friends: Now vs. Then

I'm not on Myspace, Facebook, this book or that book. I'm not on the cover of a book or the inside jacket of a book, not even on the back of a book.
I "twitter" occasionally, but not with anyone in specific.

I keep in close contact with 2 of my high school friends. One of them, I have known since pre-K. We chat at least twice a month via phone and keep each other up to date on the goings on in our lives and with our kids.

I was one of the popular girls in school, yet I have no overwhelming desire to meet up with anyone else from my past. Sometimes, I don't feel like going back.
I want a friend for the "now" stage of my life.

I do, at times like having someone online to chat with. Someone you know is always there because her "online" is on. A friend whom, if I see around town, I don't have to exchange a stiff smile with and listen to her ramblings on if I choose not to.
A friend that I can laugh with and be myself around. If I were in my pj's, she wouldn't know, or care, even if it was 1:30 in the afternoon.
Someone I could sit and chat with and not worry if my house were messy, if my purse matched my shoes, and any other thing that may not be right and she would go running back to 'Mrs. Jones' and tell them about it.
Just someone who cares about the information we exchange, the laughs we share, and me as a person, a mom, and who I really am.

Isn't it funny how the Internet has changed us?

By the way, I am, however, in the phone book.

spoil yourself..........

Remember Caylee

Song: "Mad World" Gary Jules "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.. It's a mad, mad world.." Video courtesy Sean Krause '08 Sleep Well Friend, Justice for Caylee has finally begun ~SM 6.23.11

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child of God, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend. Live life with arms wide open, living, laughing, and loving out loud. Blessed for each day I am given. Cancer survivor x 2. And for this... I am Spoiled.